WHAT THE HELL DOES A RED BALLOON HAVE TO DO WITH THE IRISH?

hearts stars horseshoes clovers and blue moons. pots of gold and rainbows. and the red balloon.(typed from memory).

when i was a kid, there were a few cereals i rarely got, begged my mom for aaalllll the time, and when she obliged me and my siblings, we ravenged that box in a matter of hours. one of those cereals was lucky charms. i can see why parents don't why to buy this for their kids. it's obvious. frosted sugar pieces of some type of bleached processed mutant grain, and dehydrated food colored astronaut/space friendly marshmallows. a nutritionists dream. i can hear my insides screaming in horror. i used to kill for lucky charms as a kid. i would punch my friends in the face at a sleepover, over who got the last bowl of lucky charms. they are a godsend for a kid looking for that saturday morning sugar rush, fuel to driving everyone else in the house crazy.

nowadays my thoughts towards this cereal has changed. grain prices must be up, and marshmallow prices(is this traded on the stock market?) must me down, because they have made the cereal bits smaller, and even fewer, and increased the number of mallows. which some people might be fond of, but it's not really my thing. towards the end of my breakfast i ended up just eating spoonfuls of marshmallows, which my inner 10 year old did with glee, but it was not enough to override the desire for more actual cereal. its 9 am i don't need this kind of sugar. it is ridiculous. i literally feel like i just did a few lines of cocaine i am so hyper. and then by my third class i am falling asleep.

i do have to give props to my homeys over at malt-o-meal for making 'marshmallow mateys'.(shout out to brooke) a cereal that to me has a more proper proportion of mallows-to-cereal. i can actually stand eating it every once in a while.

a word to general mills, up the cereal count, and the size of the cereal pieces. and do not increase the size of the mallows(you did this you idiots). there are enough. too many. i know your market isn't adults, but you lost a diehard fan. i will not be buying your cereal any more. good day.

ps-the leprachaun "lucky" is a creepy bastard. look at this pic. the shadows on his eyes/forehead. not someone i want my kids frolicking in the woods with. i don't like him. he is the cause of my night terrors.

pps- the milk turns blue when you eat it. gross or awesome? i can never decide..