hey kids, just a quick message from your friends at cereal is life letting you know that cereal can be dangerous, so you should watch yourself. although cereal is my cruel mistress, i did say she was cruel. she can take a bite out of your life, as much as you bite her(that was pretty good right?)
-your wallet: let's face it, cereal is expensive, 1 $3 box a week will run you 156 bucks a year. OUCH. that's not even covering you fancy organic granola people, and the addicts like myself who can easily consume 2 boxes a week if we're not careful. that adds up, so my advice: watch for sales, try off brands, or eat toast for breakfast sometimes, it won't kill ya.
-your mouth: whenever i bring up captain crunch, some clown decides to be funny and throw in a "tears up the roof of your mouth, bro" yeah sure. maybe for some, but my mouth has been conditioned to withstand the roughest of cereals. but this guy has a point. some cereals(kashi go-lean crunch par example) is tough as nails and could make for a less enjoyable consumption. my advice: let SOME cereals(at your discretion) sit for a sec before eating.
-making you late for the bus: oh wait that was me the other night. damn you 5 boxes for $5 sale. i had to walk home carrying my groceries. cereal, my love for you carries too much weight. my advice: get a car. FML
-your bowels: i have a friend *cough*maxwell*cough* who eats like 4 bowls or raisin bran a day. now i love raisin bran, and it's ability to keep you regular, but that guys spends all damn day on the toilet. advice: watch your bran consumption.
and max, sorry bud, for the "shout out". i don't think he reads this anyways.
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4 comments:
Dear cereal emperor If I eat two bowls of raisin bran a day will I become half as skinny as Max?
Great to hear from you again, my cerealiege. I was thinking about you when I also took advantage of the 5 for 5 this week.
Cruel Mistress indeed - esp when you were 3 and mom wouldn't buy Lucky Charms but she'd get Life or Kix, which are not terrible alternatives, but hell, they don't have MARSHMALLOWS!
stumbled along this blog and I have to say this is possibly the best blog I have ever discovered. :)
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